One of my favorite authors in Grace Lin (Where the Mountain Meets the Moon, Year of the Dog, Starry River of the Sky and more) because she writes exquisitely descriptive passages. Several years ago, while reading Year of the Dog, students began calling descriptive words "delicious" words because Lin used them so often to describe the meals her family ate at various celebrations. The term stuck, and I still call descriptive words "delicious words" today.
4th graders are currently working on improving the use of delicious words in their own writing, specifically STRONG VERBS and VIVID, COLORFUL ADJECTIVES.
For example, "I went to the store" becomes "I rode my bike to the store." Students should ask themselves the question: "How did I went?"
"We played outside" might become "My friends and I zoomed down the windy, yellow slide and swung like monkeys across the orange, metal bars." Students should ask themselves "Have I painted a picture with my words? Can my reader really imagine what I have written?"
In order to become better writers, we are going to pay closer attention to other authors.
Readers, please comment! Share with us examples of STRONG VERBS or VIVID, COLORFUL ADJECTIVES that you find in your reading OR that you notice in other classmates' work. We will also post some examples that we find to help you.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
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Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read The Dreamer by Pam Munoz Ryan. In it she says, "Neftali climbed out of bed, retrieved a pencil, and copied down the word." I like how she used "climbed out of bed" and "retrieved" instead of just saying "he got out of bed and got a pencil."
I look forward to reading about STRONG VERBS AND VIVID DESCRIPTIONS that you find in your reading.
From,
Mr. Pahl
Dear fourth grade,
ReplyDeleteI am reading DIARY of a wimpy kid dog days. By Jeff Kinney.
I think that the word shaggy is a good deliciously word.
The sentence says Today mom said I was looking ‘’shaggy,’’ so she told me she was going to get me a haircut.my name is Silas.
Dear Mr.Paul
ReplyDeleteI read Junie b. Jones and the mushy gushy valintime by Barbara Park.In it she says, “Then Mrs. snatched the scissors out of his hands.”I like how she used "Snached" instead of just saying "Then Mrs grabbed the scissors out of his hands.”
Sincerely,
Hayden
Dear Mr. Paul,
ReplyDeleteDelicious, descriptive adjectives and verbs can also be found in everyday of reading of current events - Today - in a front page article of the Seattle Times discussing the effects of the Government shutdown there are several - 1) The story headline "Shutdown's ripple effects in state" this makes you think of the shutdown as a stone dropped in water how the wake or ripple in the water spreads from a single action. 2) At Joint Base Lewis McChord, the communications department normally has 9 people working. But due to the shutdown there are just 3. A person commenting on this says the department is "working with a skeleton crew". This describes a bare minimum.
In a Sports article about the Seattle Seahawks season so far: "Seattle needed somewhat unlikely fourth-quarter comebacks to beat both Carolina and Houston on the road, sandwiching easy home wins over the 49ers and Jaguars." The author could've said 'with easy home wins over the 49ers and Jaguars'. Using sandwiching made the statement more delicious.
Sincerely,
Ron R
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteMary Poppins has great language! The "Laughing Gas" chapter is hilarious. "And then suddenly, with a bouncing bound, she felt herself jumping through the air. Michael, to his astonishment, saw her go soaring up through the room." Page 35 enjoy!
From,
Erica, a friend of Mr. Pahl
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite books of all time, Wildwood by Colin Meloy, is FULL of delicious language. Here is one example: At one instance, they diverged from the path completely, leading Prue on a meander through the underbrush because the hare had, earlier that week, discovered a healthy-looking patch of morel mushrooms and was curious to see if it remained untouched.
The delicious words are diverged, meander and discovered.
From,
Mr. Pahl
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read M.C. Higgins, The Great by Virginia Hamilton. The sentence is "she fixed her gaze on Hall Mountain, unwilling to give up a second of it. Her sweaty face settled into peace."
I like the way the author uses the word "fixed" to show that she is completely focused on the mountain. And when she said "her face settled into peace."
From,
Ms. Binderup
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI am reading the book The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon. In it the narrator says, “He gathered up the reins, clicked his tongue, jabbed both heels into the horse’s ribs and they charged up the shrubby hillside as though they had been fired from a cannon. I liked how she used “gathered” instead of took, “jabbed” instead of kicked, and “charged” instead of went. I also liked how she painted an image of speed by saying “as though they had been fired from a cannon”.
What strong verbs and vivid images are you able to find in your reading?
From, Ms. Avera
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read Fablehaven Secrets Of The Dragon Sanctuary from Brandon Mull. In the book he writes Kendra Sorenson briskly scraped the head of a wooden match against the rough strip of the side of a rectangular matchbox .I like how the author of this book used briskly and a rough strip that makes a picture in your head.
Sincerely,
Eric
Dear Eric, Where were they (or he she). But that helps visualize the story by saying briskly instead of hitting the wall with the match. And the author described the wooden crate that’s very delicious. But one more thing though, if you read more you get more details (or learns more).
DeleteFrom Elijah
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read guardians # 1. In it the author says, "A huge orange moon sailed in the autumn sky." I like how the author used "huge" and "orange" instead of just saying "The moon went over."
I look forward to reading about STRONG VERBS AND VIVID DESCRIPTIONS that you find in your reading.
From,
Benjamin
Dear Benjamin,
DeleteCan you find more delicious writing in your book if you can that’s delicious! Well that’s a great job if you can find more delicious writing. If you can comment back! P.S read more and find more!
From,
Elijah
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read How I Got My Shrunken Head from R.L. Stine. I like how he said: you’ve got to be fast to swing from vine to vine without letting them curl around your body. I like how you used curl instead of grab.
From,
Elijah
Dear Eli,
DeleteWere where they when you said you’ve got to be fast enough to swing vine to vine without letting go?
From,
Eric
Dear 4th grade,
ReplyDeleteI read Dairy of a Wimpy Kid the Ugly Truth. In it he says, "Then she collected all the eggs and threw them in the trash." I like how he used “collected “ instead of grabbed and also “threw” instead of dumped.
Sincerely, Annabella
Dear 4th Graders,
ReplyDeleteI read the book Charlie’s Raven. I read Pages 3-22 for an assinement Ms. Avera told me to do. The author is Jean Craighead George. In it the author says “ Mr. Spinder got off his horse when he saw Charlie arriving through the green-gray sagebrush” that’s what the author says in the book. I like how the author says Charlie arriving instead of Charlie coming.
Sincerely
Evyn
Dear Evyn,
DeleteI've heard that's a really good book. I should ask Ms. Avera if group 4 can read that book after we finish "Dear Mr. Handsaw" . Its about a boy named Leigh botts who writes to his favorite author. We are on Pg. 72
From,
Tori
Dear 4th Graders,
ReplyDeleteI love reading and adore delicious language, but it is something that is challenging for me to execute in my own writing. I use a thesaurus often to spruce up my language and make it more vivid. Do you use a thesaurus? Do you have any other strategies that you could recommend to me to help me add delicious words to my writing?
Thank you,
BeaJay
Mr. Pahl's WWU student
Dear 4th Graders,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading and descriptive language helps me visualize what it going on in the story. I am currently reading Tourist Season by Carl Hiaasen and I found a sentence, while I was reading, that contains deliciously descriptive language. It says, "He looked out at the newsroom just in time to see a lean figure running toward the office, weaving through the desks and video-display terminals." I like the phrase lean figure and the word weaving. Both of these descriptions help me picture what the scene would look like in my head.
I look forward to reading more examples of deliciously descriptive language that you find in your own reading!
Sincerely
Sarah
Mr. Pahl's WWU student
Dear Sarah,
DeleteThank you for giving our blog a comment. You are probably a great student. Do you like the book Tourist Season? :)
From: Annabella
Dear Sarah,
DeleteDo you like the book Tourist Season? Can you find some more delicious writing to help you visualize the story? Comment back if you can. :D
From,
Elijah
Dear Fourth Graders,
ReplyDeleteI have been reading some poetry lately and I discovered that poetry uses a lot of delicious language to describe ordinary things! In the poem Praise Song for the Day the poet writes "We encounter each other in words, words spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed." I love the delicious words spiny and smooth, whispered and declaimed. They help me hear in my head an angry voice and a soft voice, maybe even a familiar voice I know. What kind of voices do these words make you hear?
Have you read any poems with delicious language? I would love to hear of more good poetry to read!
Thanks,
Lindsy
Mr. Pahl's WWU student
Dear Lindsey,
DeleteI am sorry but I do not really read poems because I like to read Dairy of a Wimpy Kid series. I will see if Mr. Pahl has any poem kind of books. Say maybe you can make me a poem and after that I will try to remember what a poem is like, then I will make you a poem of my own.
From : Annabella
Dear Annabella and fourth graders,
DeleteI haven't thought of a poem to write yet but I just read a funny one called "Adventures of Isabel" by Ogden Nash. Here is the first part of it with some delicious language:
Isabel met an enormous bear,
Isabel, Isabel, didn't care;
The bear was hungry, the bear was ravenous,
The bear's big mouth was cruel and cavernous.
The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you,
How do, Isabel, now I'll eat you!
Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry.
Isabel didn't scream or scurry.
She washed her hands and she straightened her hair up,
Then Isabel quietly ate the bear up.
I hope you enjoy it!
Sincerely,
Lindsy
Dear fellow students,
ReplyDeleteI read Shakespeare’s Secret by Elise Broach. In it she says, “she rested her cheek against the soft cotton pillow and breathed. The air was thick with summer smells: lawn clippings and suntan lotion and late-blooming roses. She could hear the distant shouts of a tag game down the street. She closed her eyes and made her mind completely blank, as heavy and blank as the summer day.” I liked how she described the smells “The air was thick with summer smells”.
From,
Miranda
Dear BeaJay,
ReplyDeleteMy other teacher, Ms. Avera, lets us use a book called Banish Boring Words which is basically a thesaurus but different. I'm sure you can find the same thing or at least something similar.
Sincerly, Miranda
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read FableHaven Grip of the Shadow Plague the author is Brandon Mull. In it he writes On a muggy August day, Seth hurried along a faint path, eyes scanning the lush foliage to his left. Tall, mossy trees overshadowed a verdant sea of bushes and ferns. I like how he used faint instead of writing dark and I like how he used scanning and foliage.
From,
Eric
Dear fourth grade,
ReplyDeleteI am reading a book called the 39 clues book one the maze of bones by Rick Riordan. In one of the sentences he writes ‘’A dozen crumbling tombstones spread out across a green meadow ringed in trees, right next to a little creek.’’ I like how the author uses green meadow instead of just meadow.
From,
Tim.
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read A Series Of Unfortunate Events THE REPTILE ROOM by LEMONY SNICKET. In it he says, " He, Mr.Poe, and the Bauelaire orphans where all sitting around a bright green table, each with a slice of Uncle Montys cake. Both the kitchen and the cake where still warm from baking. The cake was a magnificent thing, rich and creamy with the perfect amount of coconut. Violet, Klaus, and Uncle Monty were almost finished with their pieces, but Mr. Poe and Sunny had only one small bite each.
Instead of saying we all sat at the table he said we all were sitting around the bright green table, also he described how Uncle Montys cake was like.
From,
Izabelle
Dear Eli,
ReplyDeleteI want to read the Goosebumps book "How I Got My Shrunken Head" but I don't know if it's any good. If you could respond and tell me if it's amazing or the worst thing you have ever read that would great!
Sincerly, Miranda
Dear 4th Graders,
ReplyDeleteI read a book called Alfie All Alone and it is written by Holly Webb. “Sam made little squeaky, grunting noises to himself, and Alfie woofed quietly back, his eyes slowly closing as he drifted off for a snooze”. I like how she used “little squeaky, grunting noises” and drifted off for a snooze” instead of “Sam made little noises to himself and Alfie woofed quietly and slept.”
From,
Charlize
Dear Ms. Avera, I read the Sasquatch book “Boys without names” by Kashmira Sheth. On page 9 I noticed when it said” There are some fruits left, so I pick a handful of pods and settle on the limb of a nearby nimba tree that arches over the pond.” I like it when it said “arches over the pond.” Instead of “it was over the pond”
ReplyDeleteI can’t wait to see your descriptive writing.
From,
Tori
Dear 4th graders
DeleteI am reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. And I liked when she said when I wake up the other side of the bead is cold. My fingers stretch out seeking Prims warmth. But only finding the rough canvas of the mattress she must have had a bad dream wait she did this is the day of the day of the reaping I prop myself up on one elbow there is enough light in the bedroom to see my little sister curled up on her side cocooned in my mother body their cheeks pressed tougher in sleep my mother looks younger .prims face looks as fresh as a raindrop, as lovely as a primrose which she was named .My mother was dutiful to once.
from
Liam
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read Big Nate goes for broke by Lincoln pierce .you can see on page 135 in it Nate is caching something for his friend and falls and brakes his arm. Here’s a sentence on this page. By the time I realize I’m losing my balance it’s too late. There’s no way to stop myself. Look out below! “I like how he used instead of he fell and got hurt he put more excitement in it. sorry that actually was three sentences.
From,
ELLIS!
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read diary of a wimpy kid dog days by Jeff kenny . In it he says, "we burst into mom and dads room and I told them our house was haunted and we had to move immediately." I like how he used "we burst" and haunted instead of we went into mom and dads room and told them it was scary."
I look forward to reading about STRONG VERBS AND VIVID DESCRIPTIONS that you find in your reading.
From,
Sebastian r
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read I survived the shark attack of 1916 by Lauren Tarshis.in it he says ‘’the shark was right behind him, its huge jaws wide open its white dagger teeth gleaming in its blood red mouth’’. I love the descriptive words in that sentence.
From,
Maximus
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteDear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI like the part in Cupcake Diaries by Coco Simon on page 131 when a girl named Sydney put makeup and tanner on a girl that she looked like a tangerine, glittery blue eye shadow covered her eyes. On page 126 when the cupcake club walked across the drive way to check something out, the table over there was covered with black cloth with silver stars hanging from it. There were super glittery makeup cases all over the table and a black banner with the printed kind of letters that you order from the store tied to the canopy with small but readable letters the said, “PGC’s Makeover magic.” I like how she said, “Glittery blue eye shadow covered her eyes and that she looked a tangerine.” Instead of just saying, “Blueness covered her eyes and that she was pale.”
From Kyle
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read The case 39 by Jordan kordman . In it he says , "dans mind crossed when the truck bursted fast and hit the back of the bus. ." I like how he said the truck bursted fast " instead of just saying . The truck hit the back of the bus
I liked that book so much it makes me want to read it again
From,
danny
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read The secret of Cacklefur Castle by Geronimo stilton. In it he says, "A cold wind blew up and lifted the cheddar- colored leaves off the ground. I watched them float and swirl in the night air." I like how he used "the cheddar colored leaves" instead of just saying "the orange leaves."
From,
Anny
Dear Mr. Pahl,
ReplyDeleteHi everyone my name is Asher. A good part in Harry Potter is … his head throbbed wildly! I liked that the author did not yoose his head hurt. When I was reading I could understand his pain. The author is J.K Rowling. Enjoy!
From, Asher
Dear fourth graders I read the book Out of my mind. The authors name is Sharon M Draper. The part that I liked was when she said the whump and whoosh of the furnace coming alive each morning. I like how she said the furnace coming alive each morning. I would recommend this wonderful book to someone.
ReplyDeleteBy Sarah.H
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read captain underpants by DAVpilky. In it she says, when Melvin sat down generous helpings of yellowish, pudding – like goo slowly dribbled down the chair, collecting into creamy, gelatinous puddles beneath him. "." I like how he used a lot of descriptive words.
I look forward to reading about STRONG VERBS AND VIVID DESCRIPTIONS that you find in your reading.
From,
Gavin
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read dork diaries tales from –a – not – so- smart miss know it all from Rachel Renee Russell. One part I thought had delicious descriptive writing was when it said “the door slowly opened and a tall figure came out, a skinny old lady with no teeth stood there scowling at us”. I liked the part when instead of frowning it said scowling.
Sincerely,
Neri
Dear Neri,
DeleteI love those books too. I own 1,2,3,4, and 6. I need 3 1\2 and 5. I love that its like a book that EVERYONE loves " Diary of a wimpy kid". If you like those you will love these.
From,
Tori
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read a book called The Dead Boys by Royce Buckingham. In it the author writes: franticly, Teddy dragged himself to his feet and stumbled across yard to his house. I like how the author says that Teddy dragged himself to his feet and stumbled across the yard to his house instead of; Teddy got up and went across the yard to his house.
From,
Sarah.M
Dear 4th graders,
ReplyDeleteI read Nancy drew and the secret of the old clock by Carolyn knee in it she says Nancy leaped out of her car and she dashed across the rode.
I like the part where she says she dashed across the rode I like how she said dashed instead of ran
From Kayden
Hi everybody. The book I am reading is called The great wall of Lucy wu. It was written by Wendy Wang-long Shang. This book has very descriptive words so far. My favorite sentence is when Lucy said her brother quietly ate his quiche, two hot dogs, a bread roll, and most of Chef Tso’s spicy chicken. Right when I read that sentence my mouth started to water, because I love quiche! I recommend this book to students, because it has very delicious writing and it has lots of humor in it. Sincerely, Amaya.
ReplyDeleteDear fourth graders,
ReplyDeleteI’m reading Harry Potter five by J.K. Rolling in the book it said the stairs started to creek and the ground was trembling. I like how the writer said the ground was trembling.
By Jackson